Quite A Process

Today is devoted to studying for Process. Hence a fish bowl filled with hot chocolate.

This thing is seriously 4 inches in diameter. And it makes me happy. I was going to create a Closed Loop Process Diagram to describe my mood with hot chocolate and Process, but I'm too lazy.

My professor has sent out 3 emails in the past 3 hours giving us minute-to-minute updates and his day and when he is available to answer questions. It's like he's trying to make up for something...

Blessings

The past few days have been kinda weird for me.  It's been as though I haven't been the one living my life, I've just been observing people live around me. I've felt stuck in a bubble unable to connect to people; and this is a huge problem since I'm a relational person and need that connection.  But studying alone all day can do that to you, I guess.

I think thats when it started.  Tuesday was spent locked up in my room attempting to learn biochem.  And then large group was different.  It was really good, but I was put in a really different situation so what I got out of large group is much different than what others got out of large group.  This is only a problem when you are the person responsible for writing a blog about the evening to get others to interact and learn and reflect more.  So, ya, I'm just having a problem putting what I learned aside and writing for the group.

The relational bubble continued today with more studying, and then heading to work, which made it the weirdest Wednesday every.  But I got a Starbucks gift card, so not all was lost. Then it was bible study.  Lately, I've gone into bible study with low expectations or little energy, although there is absolutely no reason for me to do that.  But this amazing group of people never fail to brighten my day.  A couple weeks ago, we walked around the dorms and asked people to study a passage for a few minutes with us.  I was expecting so many no's, but every person me and Chris talked to said yes; the person wrapped in a towel ready to take a shower, the atheist doing homework, the boys playing video games; every single person.  And perhaps the best part was I got to follow Chris around and see him lead his friends.  I didn't do anything, and that was so amazing to see; to tangibly see God's faithfulness.

Tonight we had another great discussion.  Just really digging into the passage and asking questions that we can't answer.  Bible study is not something I do well, but it is so great to be surrounded by a group that so strongly desires answers.  They are not settled, they are not content with mediocre faith, they search for answers, they seek.  I can't even explain how much they have taught me.

And tomorrow I get to look at a room full of the group leading next year.  I am so excited to learn more from this group.  This year was so amazing, it's hard to think of even more being possible next year!

Mini Band-aids

Saying that I have a busy 2 days is an understatement.  I have two tests, two lab reports, and just a lot of stuff I need to know.  I woke up feeling overwhelmed and lost.  Just not really even knowing where to start.  But as the day continued, I started feeling better about where I stood.  Honestly, I felt a change every minute, and now, even though I do have a lot of stuff to finish, I feel ok.  

I have a bad habit of keeping my burdens to myself.  I don't feel like anyone should have to carry that for or with me, but unfortunately, this habit spread to God and I don't let him take anything off of my shoulders.  This is something I noticed with a painful slap in the face last week, so I've been trying to change, trying to give him my burdens and the burdens of my friends as well.  I think thats why I'm feeling ok.  I'm pretty sure God understands the principles of thermodynamics so He won't have any problems with me passing these labs onto Him :)  

Today, I discovered a tiny cut on top of my hand that hurt like none other.  It's in a place that is constantly moved so I feel it all the time.  I found a mini band-aid though, and it makes me feel better, mostly because it's mini.  

The Quiet

School is finally done.  Finals are a thing of the past.  Everything school related has been taken out of my room, car, and purse, and been neatly organized in my closet.  Mean teachers have been forgiven...kinda.  And I am finally at peace.  Last week was hard.  I managed to get through with only one major meltdown, which is amazing considering the kind of semester I had.  I had one completely awful final, a couple OK ones, and one weird one, just down right weird.  But I have spent little time thinking about school for the past few days.  I've been enjoying total relaxation with great people.  

I am currently in a dark room with lit candles snuggled up in bed with a mocha and a truffle next to me and an interesting book waiting to be read.  But for now I am enjoying the quiet to think.  

This has been such an amazing year so far.  I have been blessed more than I can even explain and it's so great to be quiet and take the time to remember.  This semester has been evolutionary in my life.  I can't put into words how much my world has changed and I'm excited to see what lies ahead.  School's only been out for a couple of days but I already miss the community and the friendships.  January can't come soon enough!

But enough of my ramblings.  It's bed time.  Gotta wake up tomorrow and drive my best friend to the airport.  

My Favorite Failed Homework Assignment

Win.

The Finish Line

We're getting to that point of finally being done!! I can't believe this semester is almost over. It's been crazy. I've learned more this semester than any other one. It's been hard academically, but I have learned so much about myself. It's been a time I will look back on fondly, after I kill a professor or two.

Here's the final breakdown:
15 days (total days, not just school days)
1 paper
1 test
22 classes
5 finals

So much left to do still!! Now back to writing a paper...

Rest

Real rest is hard to come by but I think I finally found it this break. I have not done homework since Monday night and it has been fantastic. My days have been incredibly busy, running everywhere and doing a million different things but I rested in that.

Today was a new type of relaxing. I didn't have a million things to do. In fact, I didn't do anything. Instead of writing a bio paper I made huge progress on the scarf I'm knitting (looks wonderful if you were wondering.) I also watched lots of T.V., and had a couple beers with some friends. Yeah, it's been relaxing. I feel rested, but also kind of lazy. It's time to be productive.

Tomorrow I'm kicking it into high gear. I'm gonna use this blog as some accountability again. By tomorrow night I would like to been done with my paper and all my note cards, as a minimum. I could also do some P Chem homework that I just found out about since my professor likes to be mean and doesn't post homework over break when we have time, but late on a Sunday night. I wouldn't have done the homework over break, I just would have liked to know about it...crazy teachers.

Hope you all had a relaxing and refreshing Thanksgiving!

Oh Death

This is how I feel right now.

Excuses, Excuses...

Monday:
-Bio Test

Tuesday:
-Thermo Homework
-Thermo Quiz
-P Chem Homework
-P Chem Test
-Spanish Test

Wednesday:
-Work

Thursday:
-P Chem Quiz
-Fluids Test

Friday:
-Rest

There will be no more blogging this week.  My apologies.

...Excel...

Better known as the spawn of Satan.  I hate anything computer lab related...so this lab is not enjoyable at all.  But what makes it worse is we're supposed to remember stuff from last year.  Worse assumption ever.

Derive This

Warning:  I am feeling slightly over-dramatic about homework right now.  I apologize.

This homework should be titled death.  My new least favorite phrase is "derive an expression."  These problems are so frustrating because we won't ever do them again.  The test will be problems using the equation that we are currently deriving.  I don't know about the rest of you, but it helps me more to practice applying the equation rather than deriving it...
On a happy note, fluids is not due Friday!!!  This brings me much joy.
Ok, off to finish this homework.  If you don't hear from me for a few days I might have died.

A Strongly Worded Letter

Dear Financial Aid Office,

I have a bone to pick with you.  When I call you, I expect my question to be answered plainly, not to be sent on a wild goose chase unrelated to the afore-mentioned topic.  I do in fact, know what I'm talking about and am not a complete idiot.  Along that line, I do not need to be talked down to because you think I am oblivious to all options that are open to me.  Believe me, other options have been pursued.
Basically I just need you to answer my question.  If you feel like I have missed something then please mention it but do not refuse to answer my question.  I only need you to do one simple thing for me but that has turned into 4 phone calls and two days worth of work for me.

Not appreciated,

Rachael