Dear Tom,

The squeaky wheel really does get the grease! :)  This post is dedicated written because of you.

I just got home from God Answers.  We got a panel of pastors and asked people for their best questions.  Last year was the first time InterVarsity put this on and it blew us all away.  So, this year I think people went in expecting a miracle again and at the start, not many people showed and I think that was a little discouraging to some.  Either way I was excited to listen to some answers to hard questions.

Then I was asked to pray for the event in a separate room with a few others.  My initial reaction was disappointment because I really did want to be in the room, but after starting to pray, I realized the huge honor and opportunity I was given.  We spent 2 1/2 hours in that room, not necessarily praying the entire time, with a little break in the middle.  That's the most time I've ever spent in prayer.

It was great because we had a specific thing we needed to pray for, but it was still very vague in that.  We all just prayed about what we felt called to, and had a couple people texting us about certain things that really needed prayer. That prayer was a conversation between me, God, and 4 other people, and that was incredible!  That is what group prayer should look like, and I would love to share that with others.  Ya, I don't really know what else to add.  I spent the last couple of hours sitting, but I still feel totally wiped.  That just took a lot out of me, but filled me up at the same time.  

Blessings

The past few days have been kinda weird for me.  It's been as though I haven't been the one living my life, I've just been observing people live around me. I've felt stuck in a bubble unable to connect to people; and this is a huge problem since I'm a relational person and need that connection.  But studying alone all day can do that to you, I guess.

I think thats when it started.  Tuesday was spent locked up in my room attempting to learn biochem.  And then large group was different.  It was really good, but I was put in a really different situation so what I got out of large group is much different than what others got out of large group.  This is only a problem when you are the person responsible for writing a blog about the evening to get others to interact and learn and reflect more.  So, ya, I'm just having a problem putting what I learned aside and writing for the group.

The relational bubble continued today with more studying, and then heading to work, which made it the weirdest Wednesday every.  But I got a Starbucks gift card, so not all was lost. Then it was bible study.  Lately, I've gone into bible study with low expectations or little energy, although there is absolutely no reason for me to do that.  But this amazing group of people never fail to brighten my day.  A couple weeks ago, we walked around the dorms and asked people to study a passage for a few minutes with us.  I was expecting so many no's, but every person me and Chris talked to said yes; the person wrapped in a towel ready to take a shower, the atheist doing homework, the boys playing video games; every single person.  And perhaps the best part was I got to follow Chris around and see him lead his friends.  I didn't do anything, and that was so amazing to see; to tangibly see God's faithfulness.

Tonight we had another great discussion.  Just really digging into the passage and asking questions that we can't answer.  Bible study is not something I do well, but it is so great to be surrounded by a group that so strongly desires answers.  They are not settled, they are not content with mediocre faith, they search for answers, they seek.  I can't even explain how much they have taught me.

And tomorrow I get to look at a room full of the group leading next year.  I am so excited to learn more from this group.  This year was so amazing, it's hard to think of even more being possible next year!

Empty!!

After not sleeping and studying anatomy for 6 hours straight, I decided to sit down with some breakfast and my email inbox and all important emails have finally been replied to!!  

I would post a picture of said beautiful empty inbox, but it's only uploading side ways :(

Off to go do some aerobics now.  Weekend starts at 2!!!

Mini Band-aids

Saying that I have a busy 2 days is an understatement.  I have two tests, two lab reports, and just a lot of stuff I need to know.  I woke up feeling overwhelmed and lost.  Just not really even knowing where to start.  But as the day continued, I started feeling better about where I stood.  Honestly, I felt a change every minute, and now, even though I do have a lot of stuff to finish, I feel ok.  

I have a bad habit of keeping my burdens to myself.  I don't feel like anyone should have to carry that for or with me, but unfortunately, this habit spread to God and I don't let him take anything off of my shoulders.  This is something I noticed with a painful slap in the face last week, so I've been trying to change, trying to give him my burdens and the burdens of my friends as well.  I think thats why I'm feeling ok.  I'm pretty sure God understands the principles of thermodynamics so He won't have any problems with me passing these labs onto Him :)  

Today, I discovered a tiny cut on top of my hand that hurt like none other.  It's in a place that is constantly moved so I feel it all the time.  I found a mini band-aid though, and it makes me feel better, mostly because it's mini.  

My New Pen

Life is busy.  Spring break kinda accelerated everything, which really wasn't the plan.  I've been trying to be more productive, but my ability to focus and actually work is seriously lacking.  This post may or may not be my way of procrastinating...

But I did want to share something new in my life that has brought immense joy.  This pen is wonderful.  It's like the cheapest pen ever, there isn't even a brand, but I love my handwriting with it and that just makes me really happy.

Also, this picture was taken with my phone.  I have fallen in love with the iphone!  I don't know how I lived without it.

I have had some really great conversations with friends.  About pain and struggle and new exciting things to come.

AND, I have found the best Pandora station. Christina Perri is the artist and the music is the most random assortment of most of the music I love.

This month has been really hard, but has really blessed me.  I'm excited for what else is in store.

Blogger's Block

I don't know why I always find it so difficult to start writing a new post on Burning Embers.  I generally have an idea of what I want to say, but I think that my writing gets better the further on in the post.  So, I'm gonna practice and rant here first I suppose.  Large Group tonight was about judging people.  I'm a judgmental person.  I try not to let people know that I am judging them, but it leads to me getting really annoying over really stupid things; like bad drivers. I judge drivers all the time, and I get mad and frustrated, and that makes me a worse driver, which makes me more mad.  It's just a never ending cycle.

And I hate people that judge, I know, I realize the hypocrisy.  I firmly believe that we are called to love everyone and in that, not judge them.  But for some reason, I cannot apply this to myself.  I am able to give strangers a free pass (somewhat), but I am really hard on my friends.  I just hold you all to a really high standard, and I ignore the plank.

...Inspired.  This worked.

Stupid Questions

If I have learned one thing from working in customer service it's this: people are stupid.  Here are some questions to prove it.

Q: Where is the restaurant?
A:  You see that area behind you where people are eating?  Ya, that's it...

Q: How do I use the phone?
A:  Um...What part don't you understand?  I mean, picking up, dialing...it's all pretty tough...

Q (via phone): What is your phone number?
A:  That would be the number you just called
         *This question has happened twice*

I'm sure there have been others, but those happened yesterday.  Sometimes I honestly do not understand people.